Practice makes perfect

Believe in that.

In need of developing a more efficient manner to read the bednotes and understand the patients' situations and pathway.

I am allowed to be more caring in this centre. Wish I could really help out and be inspired by the beauty of humanity.

Queen Mary Hospital

My life seems colourless these days.

It seems like I don't deserve to hope for anything in this world, because life doesn't like to do me any favour.

Not like I wanna take control, I just wish things could be easier in some ways.

So that the burden on my shoulders could be lighter.

Unable to enjoy my time at in my favourite hospital.

A series of Unfortunate events

Self explanatory....

A series of unfortunate events, a series of negative thoughts.

Unfortunate things happened, and we have zero control over it. Although it did not happen on me, I am probably more traumatized by the unexpected outcome of this ridiculus world.

The red line between us, I consider it as disconnected. It's been 2 months since our last sight. Meeting expectation is too much to ask for. There won't be any disappointment when there is no hope. Therefore, it's me who has been too silly to be hopeful in issues like this. Honeymoon's over, I should be awaken and get back on earth, somewhere without hope.

It was the first time I chose a pair of shoes that I like. After around half a year, it was stolen. The pair of shoes followed me to Beijing, carried me to the journey of adventure, kept me accompanied in the greatest time with the favourite people.

What could I do?

I am sad.

A breaking news

The volleyball match over the weekend was fantastic. Although we had a messy beginning, we finally put ourselves together and won the match. We will be participating in the final match next week. Hope we'll all play well.

Night time, I planned to join the practice of Miphy's team. However, after I found out the venue, I decided not to go because I had no clue how to get there. Finally I joined my fellow classmate's hotpot gathering at the student residence. There, I talked about the experience I gained from the clinical placement. The outcome was not as expected. I was actually upset with the feedback because I didn't think I deserved that. On the other hand, I found out another breaking news about my classmate. My classmate was sick from the beginning of the placement. It's understandable that he couldn't perform as good as usual. However, I didn't think he deserved an "incomplete". I thought I like this clinical educator, but his comment to my fellow classmate was unacceptable.

I feel so sorry for him. Wish I could do something about it. I am still very mad.

Placement starts about tomorrow. I wish I can start fresh, and be confident.

A new page.

Relaxation nonstop

Two days of holiday passed too quickly.

I spent the first day by shopping around one of my most enjoyable store, IKEA. This store always creates the most relaxing, comfy and cozy atmosphere. The living rooms demonstrate the smart use of small space. The bedrooms can definitely lead me to my sweetest dreams. The children's corners remind me of the "do watever" childhood. Sleeping in a tent is the desire of every kid..... hehe.... I spent some time in there. The kitchens are clean and equiped. The reading rooms are full of the smell of books, making me want to read.

Surprisingly, I spent quite some time in the accessory area, looking at the lamps. Right, I wanted to get a comfy nite lamp. Dim yellow light will be my choice, or white light with ground glass surrounded, or simply blue light to extract my silly dreams up in the air.

The second day of holiday was another relaxing shopping day on the street. I was trying to look for a more feminine schedule with lots of free space to write. As I cherish all of my inspirations, they should be written down and memorized. So that I know how stupid I could be sometimes.

I went to JSC to support the men's soccer team tonight. Mr Mok and I asked my about my future. He talked about a sensitive topic with me, and I refused to express my very own thought, as usual, as I myself refuse to think about it.

Although there may be someone on the other side of the earth, who knows what's going to happen in all these days? Who can predict the future? I have to admit that I am being pretty hopeless in this aspect. But it doesn't seem like there is anything I could do about it.

Therefore, I should just enjoy my life as much as possible and stop making myself nervous about this issue every single day.

A day of relaxation

All of a sudden, I love my life again.

Social assistance?

Finally, I am back in here and talk to myself. These days, I experienced the real meaning of exhaustion. The average time of being home is 6 hours/day, which is occupied by the sleep. I haven't seen my dad for the whole weekend.

The naive girl finally comes out to the world and realizes the dirty side of human beings. I thought I have gone through this stage a very long time ago.

Social assistance is a very good idea to provide support for people who are poor. They may lose their ability to work due to aging or accident. Elderlies take it because they give to the society when they were young, therefore they receive when they get old. It's unfortunate for people who has accidents so they receive the financial social support.

There are people in this society who takes advantage of the resources from the government which is supposed to be providing for the poor. They have the ability to earn a living but they decide to receive social assistance. Additionally, they make use of this type of assistance to gain free service from the hospital authority. In this way, people who truly need the service will have their space always occupied by them, who just want to get free lunch.

When you ask them about the progression, they still always complain about pain because they are afraid to be discharged.

I finally have a discussion with Mr Fung today about this issue. He totally changed the way I see things. This little girl right here may be depressed because of this type of atmosphere. The solution of this is to set up my own schedule and leave them no choice.

Lesson learned: Have to ask them if they are receiving social assistance and find out their intentions of being here.

Moment of realization: people who receive CSSA, they will never go away.

Thought I am naive no more, found out I am still naive.

Hate to be stressful

Stress can easily suppress my immune system. Lack of rest can futher suppress my immune system. Feels like being defeated soon, very soon.

• Oct 4th - Eugenia's wedding
• Oct 5th - Visit Grandma + PPRC + FYP meeting
• Oct 6th - Complementary course + meet with Paul & Ceci
• Oct 7th - Do the presentation
• Oct 8th - Dinner with friend (Don't get me wrong, I love this)
• Oct 9th - Volleyball practice
• Oct 10th - finally gets a break.... probly gonna do the presentation
• Oct 11th - Vball match for JCC
• Oct 12th - Onfield service for Soccer M
• Oct 13th - Complementary course
• Oct 14th - DAY OF PRESENTATION
• Oct 15th - FYP meeting

What the ....... ??

Is everything gonna turn out okay?