Last night he and I chatted online again. Since the issue we talked about the night before, I thought the atmosphere was gonna be a bit weird because of the DISTANT he mentioned. But indeed it was still very relaxing.
There was one thing we discussed which was quite sensitive. He gave me an advice that if anything like sprained ankle involving going to the hospital, please ask somebody to go with me he said. At least call somebody to talk. Ask someone to accompany you.
Honestly, I wish I always have somebody to call and chat about anything and everything, and that somebody will be more than happy to receive my phonecall but not feeling annoyed. Up till this moment, I still feel that may be other people do not want to hear from me. Ever since Jan 7th 2005, I became such a person. And experience have showed to me that I was right.
I dropped my tears the moment he typed those phrases. And I had no intention to continue on with the same topic.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
the class
There was this he appearing lately, who happens to know me very well; who happens to share with me the joy and happiness each day; who happens to bring me almost all the laughter from last year in just 2 weeks.
At the beginning, I lost hope because there was no sign of pushing the whole thing forward. Then I gained hope because once he's not my teacher, I believe that we may get a lil closer than internet friends. Last night the clerk asked me about the schedule of next class, I was so hesitated. Then I found out that he indeed will keep DISTANT from me as long as I am a student. So, where is this going to bring us to? Nowhere probably.
Talking on the phone with him to confirm how he feels about the whole thing. He was actually fine with me continuously being the student. To avoid gossips, he's gonna keep a bit DISTANT from me, as we haven't known each other for a very long time. May be he's right. We haven't known each other for a very long time. It has only been 15 days since the first time we chatted online.
After a day of deep thinking, guess I am going to see if my schedule fits the school, enrolling the class without considering the dilemma. It may give us more chance to get acquaintance of each other a lil more. I will fully compromise & coordinate with him with the "keep a bit DISTANT" thingie.
Life should be lived to the fullest in any situation. It's not worthwhile to make unnecessary sacrifice to something that has not appeared. And I completely put my life in the hands of HIM.
At the beginning, I lost hope because there was no sign of pushing the whole thing forward. Then I gained hope because once he's not my teacher, I believe that we may get a lil closer than internet friends. Last night the clerk asked me about the schedule of next class, I was so hesitated. Then I found out that he indeed will keep DISTANT from me as long as I am a student. So, where is this going to bring us to? Nowhere probably.
Talking on the phone with him to confirm how he feels about the whole thing. He was actually fine with me continuously being the student. To avoid gossips, he's gonna keep a bit DISTANT from me, as we haven't known each other for a very long time. May be he's right. We haven't known each other for a very long time. It has only been 15 days since the first time we chatted online.
After a day of deep thinking, guess I am going to see if my schedule fits the school, enrolling the class without considering the dilemma. It may give us more chance to get acquaintance of each other a lil more. I will fully compromise & coordinate with him with the "keep a bit DISTANT" thingie.
Life should be lived to the fullest in any situation. It's not worthwhile to make unnecessary sacrifice to something that has not appeared. And I completely put my life in the hands of HIM.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Think too much
Ever since he sent me the message to ask me first of all to invite him to my vball games, and secondly said he was glad that I am Catholic, I started to hope our relationship did not limit to teacher and student. Monday night, I went to class as usual. After class, I stayed over to hand him the chocolate I got him. Surpringly, he had the DVD of "tuesdays with Morrie" for me. Then he expressed that he's a person who seldom cry that's why the DVD did not cost him any tears. Even though he suffers a lot, he did not drop a single tear. And I drilled again, why do you suffer?
It was a long story, but I happened to have the honour and time to listen to the whole story. I will not forget this part of his life story because my heart sinked with his when he spoke about the difficult time, felt lighter when I knew he's happy with a brand new life. I gave him a hug in the end like I wanted to give to Bianca. This is how much I am as joyful as he is.
Then we started to chat on FB almost everynight, except thursday cos I was starting to catch a cold. Sometimes I thought of him when I was at work because he sort of becomes a role model of faithfulness in any situation.
He wanted to know about my story. So we met up on Saturday to chat in person. I was very nervous actually because I didn't know if it will change any of his impression on me. Anyhow, the chat went well and he thought he knew my feelings very well. He looked at me and found shadows of himself. So he actually made me to believe that there was the unexpected acquaintance although we haven't known each other for a very long time. For my story, I actually only talked about what happened, didn't really mention about my feelings because I am sure once I started, tears will follow. But he said he knew how I felt. I am glad he didn't make to express my emotions.
In the end, we walked together back to school cos he had to attend the party. I had a weird feeling, that we are probably just gonna be really good friends. Cos there's not a single sign of pushing the whole thing forward. Guess I think too much again?
It was a long story, but I happened to have the honour and time to listen to the whole story. I will not forget this part of his life story because my heart sinked with his when he spoke about the difficult time, felt lighter when I knew he's happy with a brand new life. I gave him a hug in the end like I wanted to give to Bianca. This is how much I am as joyful as he is.
Then we started to chat on FB almost everynight, except thursday cos I was starting to catch a cold. Sometimes I thought of him when I was at work because he sort of becomes a role model of faithfulness in any situation.
He wanted to know about my story. So we met up on Saturday to chat in person. I was very nervous actually because I didn't know if it will change any of his impression on me. Anyhow, the chat went well and he thought he knew my feelings very well. He looked at me and found shadows of himself. So he actually made me to believe that there was the unexpected acquaintance although we haven't known each other for a very long time. For my story, I actually only talked about what happened, didn't really mention about my feelings because I am sure once I started, tears will follow. But he said he knew how I felt. I am glad he didn't make to express my emotions.
In the end, we walked together back to school cos he had to attend the party. I had a weird feeling, that we are probably just gonna be really good friends. Cos there's not a single sign of pushing the whole thing forward. Guess I think too much again?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Heart attack at church
Oh gosh! I was almost late for mass at the Rosary.
"Is there any single seat at the front you think?"
'Oh of course, you can just walk up to the front.'
"Is there any single seat at the front you think?"
'Oh of course, you can just walk up to the front.'
Walking down the isle, there was an empty single seat on my left. I sat down without delay. After my prayers, I started to look around. Why is that face so freakingly familiar? It was Efung's face. There was his birthmark, the position of his pimples, even the way he sighed, it was so Efung. My heart pounded heavily as I honestly did not know how to react if we actually saw each other face to face. I couldn't be focus at the mass. All I can remember from the Homily was the halo Father talked about. Make your halo Shine!
I prayed so hard to God, "Lord, I know now there's 30% chance that he's Efung, 70% chance that he's not. Please make him not to be Efung." The moment of truth came when we sent greetings and peace to each other. He turned, and I was completely relieved.
Afterwards, I kinda laughed at myself. Why did I suffer from a heartattack right there? Probably I still did not know how to get along with him without thinking of what happened. Then I thought of his mother, Bianca. It was a really long time since we last talked. Found her on FB, as well as Patrick, her younger son.
This is the moment when God show me his power once again. Patrick described himself with words like soul destruction and how God help him and love him. Five years ago when Efung and I went for different ways, I would never imagine Patrick would ever write anything like that. His conversion is another marvelous piece of work of God. How can YOU be so powerful?? I surrender to you.
At that moment, I desperately wanted to call Bianca up and congratulated her. Her suffering was all worth-it when the result turned out to be a conversion. I so wanted to give her a big hug. I am sooooo happy for her and her family.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Ano nuevo Ching Chong
This Ching Chong New Year of 2011, I experienced NON STOP eating for the first time in my life. Everything I did was related to food. At the end of the day, my TMJ was complaining of overuse. Man, got some serious weight losing to do.
Diet:
The plan is as follows: Gonna start with oat meal breakfast. That's like the basic. It tastes like shit but I guess it's okay to add some dried cranberries for a lil flavour. Secondly, lunch is gonna be half a serving and you know what I mean girl. Thirdly, no more food after 9pm. Drink water if you're still hungry... LOL Guess that's it regarding to diet.
Exercise:
The night schedule is hard to plan cos you may have different activity every week. I'll do the best I can.
Lunes - Espanol
Diet:
The plan is as follows: Gonna start with oat meal breakfast. That's like the basic. It tastes like shit but I guess it's okay to add some dried cranberries for a lil flavour. Secondly, lunch is gonna be half a serving and you know what I mean girl. Thirdly, no more food after 9pm. Drink water if you're still hungry... LOL Guess that's it regarding to diet.
Exercise:
The night schedule is hard to plan cos you may have different activity every week. I'll do the best I can.
Lunes - Espanol
Martes - Jogging 1/2 hr + core training & mm strengthening
(+/- 2 hrs of vball)
Miercoles - 2-3 hrs of vball
Jueves - Rest day
Viernes - Jogging 15 min, Agility & Core training
(or KCC vball + Agility & Core training)
Sabado - 3 hrs of fun vball + core training
Domingo - El Padre
Vale, voy a perder peso!!!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Ching Chong New Year
Love the Title. Sometimes you have to admit that, Chinese is a noisy race. Everything is Ching Ching Chong Chong....... It's kinda important to take a minute to slow down, quite down, and think about things.
It was crap from the beginning of 2011. As I am slowly recovering and accepting what's happening, would like to wish myself all the best in the year of Rabbit. Things have been bad, let's hope that it's not getting any worse. New year ahead, new plans needed, even though I still resist to say the "R" word.
My new senior, Mr Ho, mentioned about the Master program in Manipulative therapy. I am still uncertain about my interest in that field. Even if I am interested, I am considering the Masters program in Curtin, Perth. PERTH, somewhere away from home, I love.
WYD used to be my dream. Now that I couldn't make it, I wish myself happiness still, having fun in some other countries, enjoying the time with my beloved friends, saving myself some relaxin moments, refreshing myself from MFY.
Spent the New Year Eve at LKF with GiGi last night. There were coupla guys around, a Espanol n a Chink. Both of them are pretty nice, but for some reasons, I was so hesitate to proceed. All I could think of was Mushie. Then I realized that Mushie I miss much. Even though there are things I don't like about him, acts I don't agree, I still miss him. Thinking about him more after listening to his stories in Zinc. When am I gonna see him again......
It was crap from the beginning of 2011. As I am slowly recovering and accepting what's happening, would like to wish myself all the best in the year of Rabbit. Things have been bad, let's hope that it's not getting any worse. New year ahead, new plans needed, even though I still resist to say the "R" word.
My new senior, Mr Ho, mentioned about the Master program in Manipulative therapy. I am still uncertain about my interest in that field. Even if I am interested, I am considering the Masters program in Curtin, Perth. PERTH, somewhere away from home, I love.
WYD used to be my dream. Now that I couldn't make it, I wish myself happiness still, having fun in some other countries, enjoying the time with my beloved friends, saving myself some relaxin moments, refreshing myself from MFY.
Spent the New Year Eve at LKF with GiGi last night. There were coupla guys around, a Espanol n a Chink. Both of them are pretty nice, but for some reasons, I was so hesitate to proceed. All I could think of was Mushie. Then I realized that Mushie I miss much. Even though there are things I don't like about him, acts I don't agree, I still miss him. Thinking about him more after listening to his stories in Zinc. When am I gonna see him again......