Your moment is here

Cannot stop listening to this song.
It cheers me up within my loads of papers. It gives me energy to move forward.
Thank you The Canadian Tenors :)

YOU talked to me

“Fill your horn with oil, and be on your way.” (1 Samuel 16:1)

When God asked him to anoint David, Samuel had already invested a lot in King Saul. At first, he didn’t even like the idea of Israel having a king, but in obedience he had anointed Saul and supported him all the way.

But now Samuel had to change course because of Saul’s disobe­dience. We know that this devas­tated Samuel, because he “cried out to the Lord all night” about Saul (1 Samuel 15:11). Saul had such a promising future, but he squan­dered his potential and let his peo­ple down. But that didn’t stop God. He already knew what he was going to do, so he asked Samuel: “How long will you grieve for Saul?” (16:1). Samuel had become a lit­tle too attached to Saul, and it was time to move on.

This story offers us a good lesson about letting go. It’s only natural to mourn a lost friendship, a seri­ous illness, or a loved one’s death. It’s only natural to grieve our losses. We may even feel as if we’ll never be able to move forward with our lives.

As difficult as these situations can be, we still have to try our best to keep moving on, even if it’s only day by day. We can remem­ber how God told Samuel to fill his horn with oil—the oil of the Holy Spirit—and “be on your way” (1 Samuel 16:1). This is exactly what Samuel did. He probably was still mourning the loss of Saul, but he pushed on in faith and obedi­ence to the Lord. We won’t always know what God has in mind when we encounter times of challenge or suffering. We may try to second guess what God is up to, just as Samuel tried to guess the identity of the new king. But we know that if we just follow his guidance, we will know blessing and protection.

So try your best to trust in the Lord when upheavals happen. Stay close to him. Tell him that you trust in his wisdom and providence. Believe that God hasn’t abandoned you; he still loves you. He still has a plan for your life.

“Lord, I ask not to understand your will but to accept it. Teach me to see your hand in the midst of every change and challenge.”

Goal setting

Have I already decided which field I am gonna be focusing on? Guess I have a little direction from the Father above. Mucho gracias!

PaPa at KH was sick on Monday. Hearing his cracking voice in the morning, my heart was sour. You have to take good care of yourself my dearest papa. He came back on Tuesday, with a soften voice. I joked with other colleagues saying that Papa's voice was very gentle today. Then I offered to run for the lunch meeting instead of him. Of course, he needed to rest more. Wednesday, he's 100% already. Good job dear Papa, who always takes good care of me as well. Muah ^3^

Samantha from Columbus posted a website on FB regarding to international volunteering. The programs do not only limit at English teaching, but also medical professionals. Physiotherapist program was found as well. But most of the programs are targeting paediatrics, which is not exactly my field of interest. I will search more to see if the program can allure to volunteer aboard when my contracts up.

Explosion

I.... Exploded today. Millions and millions of troublesome patients, draining every lil bit of eneryg out of me every single minute. Thank God Thomas Papa was there to accompany me, even though he didn't know how to deal with my tears.

He sang today, haha... Love ya Papa

Mucho Gracias Thomas Papa

After taking 3 days off to do the stupid super stressful Journal club, I was back to work on Tuesday. The first day was okay. Wednesday was soooo crappy. Patient coming was expected, but one referrals after one, and after another was super irritating. If this happened to only one patient, I guess I can tolerate better. However, this was not the case. One after another referral...... I was extraordinaryly mad, lost my temper.

"Mr Wong, I can do it no more!"
"Hang in there!!"
"I really can do it no more! People are crazy!"
"This is the psychiatric unit."

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The next day, there was a returned patient, who refused to be discharged with tones of unreasonble excuses. This is the first time I needed to enter the pantry to ventilate and to cool down myself in order to avoid any stupid behaviour due to rage. Then there was a new case who came with his son. This son was dressed educated but in fact not educated enough to ask questions while the therapist was available. Too may irrelevant questions which may lead me to answer something stupid. This was the second time I needed to entry the pantry, and I asked Papa Thomas to come with me.

"Mr Wong, I am dead."
"What case is that?"
"Frozen shoulder. Crazy...."
"Now you can first xxxxxxx, then xxxxxxxxx......"
"Okay..."
"You are competent of handling this, and very well. If there are further problems, you call me for help, like this."
"Okay... thanks."

Returning to my spot, trying my best to communicate with the client & ignoring the son, everything was settled afterwards. The client was actually pretty nice and following command. Thomas Papa gave me this thumb and said, "Very good. You are competent enough to handle these situations!"

Thomas Papa was so so so nice. I knew I wasn't good enough in a lot of aspects, but he kept on giving me so powerful encouragement. He took super good care of me, making me feel like I am experienced enough. Wanna give him a super big hug.

=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=

The next day, I was just a lil bit frustrated about how people can get a physio appointment in only 3 days which is not classified as category I. As usual, I have no hesitation of expressing my thought to Thomas Papa. He told me that I could tell the seniors but that's a first. "I'd better not creating more trouble." Thomas Papa smiled, saying that I sounded like I have been doing this for 20 years.

Mucho Gracias Thomas Papa

The four words

In chronological order, I saw

Patient

Peaceful

Happy

Serve

Moustache-less

Lunch time today, Thomas Papa pulled down his mask to ask me if I needed to buy take out lunch. I stared at him, thinking... something's different. I noticed his lips were a bit pale but today they were even paler. How can I visualize his pale lips so easily today? Because he shaved! He finally shaved!!! A month ago, I found out that it was impossible to imagine Thomas papa's face without moustache.

Today I saw it. He looked 10 years younger and so freaking good looking. Completely resisted to have a thorough glance on him for the whole day.

Gag of the day:
Thomas papa took out a piece of plastic gadget, asked me what it is.
ML: Pump water from fish tank for cleansing
Ruby: For gasoline transfer
AN: For gasoline transfer
NC: hm... fish tank water cleansing
WH: I know I know!! For Gasoline transfer!!!
KL: Oh!!! For Soya sauce transfer
(Silence......)

Someone's from the planet of pluto, speaking the extraordinary language. Go back to your planet dude, once you're done here.

Okinawa

Highlight of the Month:


!OKINAWA!


Thanks for the relaxing trip with DBC & our beloved Jacob!


During this trip, I realized something important. These days this song "Good things" have looped around my head. The lyrics touched me a lot. It's translated like this:


Good things, even thought it ended
Touching leads to satisfying
Thank You, it's you who carry me through those times
Pain, because I am unable to give you more happiness


Good things, may be it can be repeated
Very touching even though it's blurred
Do not cry, at least both of us remember
Love, is to give blessings to each other

That's why I should stop crying, and keep praying & blessing for the one I love.

Te quiero

Dear Chiara,


You have done a very good job today! You were able to show your empathy to your patients, with lots of love and care. Your smile had not been take away. And you continuously care your patients with empathy.


Though, you kinda lost control at one point, when you raised your voice upon disturbance from uncontrolled patients. But you were able to listen to their needs afterwards, which was very much appreciated.


I knew you're happy today, even your papa by your side knew about it. Guess he was happy to see that you had so much positive energy with you and not to be driven down by the negative complaints of the patients. Papa joked with you that he should've taken some of your happiness away. Of course you were more than happy to do so, I just knew. I saw papa started to joke with you, and you were happier.


Good job babie! Keep your uplifting spirit! Carry it on so that your life can affect others. Remember this day, remember how you deal with troubles. See, you are more than competent. Your Papa on your side acknowledged that. Yes, he made compliments about you, and you were floating in the air. Papa from heaven saw that too, and He is happy with what His great daughter did on earth.


My blessings will always be with you! Animo! Te quiero!


Lots of love,
Your Papa in heaven

Different teacher

The moment I entered the school today, I noticed something wasn't right. JD was not in the classroom, it was Danny instead. Then they explained, they are gonna switch teachers from this lesson on so that the students are able to adapt to the language in different accents.

This moment, I would like to quote what JD says in FB, "Change what you can change and accept what you can't change :-)"



After the class, I thought that the change actually did no harm at least to me. Even though he won't be able to teach me anymore, I am happy as long as I know he is doing fine. And in class, I am more open to talk what's in mind.
 
Anyways, to my surprise I am actually not very disappointed. As JD says, there are things you can change, and there are things you just have to suck it up. The only thing is... I hope our friendship don't end here.
 
JD, I still have you in my every prayer ;-)

Fancy

Currently wearing......




which keeps my spirit alive :)

Think I am addicted to it.

Meaning of suffering

Currently reading......

Heart aches a lot lately.



SOHO

Went out for dinner this week. I picked Friday because I didn't wanna go home for dinner on a TGIF day.

Evan picked SOHO, so I followed. We walked through LKF then to a street with lots of restaurant. As we walked along the street, there went the really old ancient building. It felt pretty familiar because this was exactly where Tapeo was, the place JD and I had dinner with other esp students. I stared at the two seats we sat on that night, thinking... it will never ever happen again. I really miss the way he took care of me that night.

When I looked up, I saw the phrase "Al Dente". Then the memory of him explaining the meaning of "Al Dente" appeared frequently, as well as every time I had pasta.

After dinner we walked back down to central, taking exactly the same path as that night. I stared at the spot we said goodbye to Maria & her hubby. Great hugs with Maria. I miss her. And I remembered JD had lots of fun chatting with her.

Hang Fa Lau was right at the slope. This was the place where JD and I had chinese desserts with two other classmates. I still remember he had ice red bean with icecream. Gracias he said.

We ended the night at IFC. In front of the McDonald's was where JD and I met up with another classmate. And this was the finishing point of that night, the classmates and JD took the esculator downstairs for subway, and I walked past IFC to the exchange square for the bus ride home.

When I got home that night, JD and I continue with our sweet conversation online after shower; which will never ever gonna happen again.

The end.

A normal day

A beautiful moon appeared in the mysterious sky tonight, as my eyes are unable to be taken away from it. The nature is beautiful. Lord You are Great.

JD has made me to get closer to Lord. With the help of Mother Teresa, I start to seriously think of my role on earth. Instead of whinning about the difficulties in life, what exactly am I supposed to do? How can I be with God more closely? How can I serve his people more tenderly? How can I "spread his fragrance wherever I go?" I am eager to read more and listen to Your word Lord.

Thanks JD for the prayers, as he is still included in my every prayer.

Thomas PaPa has been taking good care of me lately. I love the way he treats me like his young child. And I love his sense of humour to make the environment more relaxing. He still encourages me a lot to make me feel more competent in dealing with MFY. And I love how he seriously thinks hard to help me in problem solving when I lose my control. I am so lucky to have Thomas PaPa.

Last friday some close colleagues and I went out to Knutsford Terrance for drinks. No one really get drunk but a relaxin atmosphere was created for ventilation. Damn freaking KL and that supporting. One talks in Alien language while the other is such the worst lazy ass I have ever seen. My Goodness. Life will be better when God's with me. Lord, I am lucky to be kept by You. Oh, love big Bro Paul and those two colleagues.

Sigh.. still coughing nonstop
Peace Out!

Italian Dinner

Last night, mom asked me, "We are going to have Italian dinner tomorrow night, you wanna come?" I was a bit excited because I haven't had Italian food like forever. Therefore, I dressed up a bit with my ballerina and skirt, waiting for the enjoyable dinner under dim light. Looking forward to the relaxin atmosphere, taking my soul away from the stress from mon to fri. Looking forward different types of cheese, bread with olive oil & vinegar etc.

THIS is what I have in mind........



When I followed my mom to the restaurant, we walked through the mall. In my mind I was wondering, how can a classical Italian restaurant appear here? Then that uncle made a sudden turn. The first thing I saw was the chinese written menu at the entrance of the restaurant. The "Italian La Dolce" doesn't have dim light, but loads of people talking out loud, ordering food here and there. After I sat down, one of the auntie ordered the food for us. She wanted all 8 dishes of lamb, 4 dishes of steaks and 4 dishes of fish can be put together so that each one of us would be able to pick whatever we like. So all we are lacking is a turning plate at the centre for a chinese dinner.

What was I thinking? Did I actually believe that my mom and her friends would visit a traditional Italian restaurant?. Too too naive baby .... you are expecting too much la.

THIS is how I feel for the WHOLE night......

Piritonized

Congratulations Baby! You have achieved a faster time of catching a cold. From sore throat to runny nose, it only took half of a day. Your body has a very rapid rate of mechanism, except the immune system. Now I am piritonized.

Evan and I went for a movie on Saturday night, after the afternoon game at Kowloon Bay. We watched the Pirates of the Carribean. It doesn't matter what movie we watched, it's the reason why I called him up that matters. He probably knew before arriving to the Element. At Haagen Dazs, I finally exploded. Talking about the crappy life lately, including the lost game again, he agreed that I probably should leave to T.O. My tears were shed like a river at that very moment. I am not sure if it's because I feel there's a person standing by me, or if it's because the situation is worse to a level that I won't be able to survive here. I just cried. And super super thanks to Evan who let me cry in his embrace.

Tonight I went for the Beginners II class at Columbus. After two months, we met again. It felt a bit weird at the beginning, but afterwards, I was probably too busy to catch up with the class without thinking too much. It went okay, at least on my side. It felt like I was in the second or third lesson in Beginners I. JD is the teacher, nothing less, nothing more. The class ended and I left. The end. There weren't much eye contact between us. I can feel the reluctancy for making eye contact. It's still okay. The situation will become better after he got familiar with the situation. Hey, I asked him in advance if he's okay. He said no problem.

His cast was removed but the wrist was a bit swollen. I was so tempted to give him a quick screen on his wrist, but I held back. Guess he wouldn't want me to do that.

But I am so glad to see him smiling all the time. At least he seems happy even though he probably suffers a bit after work. Thank God for being with him and stay with him for his difficult time. My prayers work, for once. Mucho Gracias Padre >3<

Met Anna

After stepping out of the scene for a month, I accidentally found out that JD was suffered from Colles fracture since a month ago, and he was put on a POP. At the moment I was a bit mad because it seemed like blessings were not sent to him, and he hasn't been taking good care of himself. A phonecall was made to make sure he was doing fine even with the cast. Thank God he was okay. And I continued to step out of the scene.

Sunday night, Anna found out that I moved back to HK a couple of years ago. We decided to meet up even though it was almost 1 on a Monday morning. It's like we haven't met forever. She got married several months ago, probably wasn't able to contact me back then. S'okay. Most importantly, our conversation expanded to the lifestyle in HK and North America. Many Hongers immigrated to North America 10+ years ago and moved back. Somehow they blend into the community here and beome a typical Honger. That's one thing I have been avoiding myself to do. Agitated, impatient, critical, nonstop complain, materialistic, money oriented...... I would love myself not to gain any of those characters.

And now, as I have mentioned in my previous entries, it seems like God had closed 99% of the doors available in mylife. Family is not so harmonic. Faith is weak. Work is shitty. Relationship is none. Volleyball is crap. The idea of moving back to Toronto appeared frequently in my mind lately. Is that what YOU want me to do? I bet eh?

One have got to have a plan before any action. So, I should get myself more prepared before heading there. There are several courses I need to take to survive financially when I head to Toronto for the first year. Clinical Pilates, fitball & personal training are courses I aim at. Working at a personal trainer, I should take the first year to study and get myself prepared for the licensing exam in Canada. Sounds like a plan eh?

Accommodation will be made at either Mike's, Lisa's, or Uncle Herbert's. Edwin's place will be good choice as well. Hopefully everything can work out fine if the status is not gonna changed.

Once I told Paul gor gor about my idea, he joked around,"What am I gonna do after you leave? Have you thought about me? Can I be a person who makes you stay? Will you stay because of me?" He is such a sweet sweet brother. I like him so much because he really does care about me, his little sis.

Life... goes on

Life goes on, even though I didn't want it to be that way. I haven't contacted him for more than a month. It didn't feel good. I want to know how he is doing, and sincerely want him to tell me that everything is good. At the bottom of my heart, I still care about him, a lot. But then guess one need to take care of my feelings. Getting away from the scenerio seems to be the best way to bring myself back to the right track.

Because my prayers still always include him and his life, it actually draws me closer to God these days. I prayed more often, more sincerely, and have a closer relationship with God. Think this is His plan, between me and Him.

Work hasn't been changed a lot. There will be a new senior starting from tomorrow. Even though I didn't wanna admit, I did get a bit more mature than before. Thomas PaPa encourages me a lot, and gives me advice most of the time. Many Many thanks to Thomas PaPa.

Today I was thinking. Life is so short, Hang in there, you only have 30-40 years to go. It's tough, but it will be over soon. Hang in there.

And then I thought, life is short. I should enjoy every bit of it. But then Jordi's voice echoes in my brain, "你好蠢呀! There are so many things to be happy in life, why spend time to be upset?" "你再唔開心我打你呀!"

Tears WIPED

Even though nothing has changed since whenever unfortunate events started to happen, I haven't been crying since my last sacrament of reconciliation, where I terribly lost control in the oratory. It's been a little more than a week. I became a little stronger. But then it doesn't mean that Lord You don't have to show thy appearance around me.

So, in the upcoming month, there will be a drastic change in my team again. This change is not considered as a preferrable one, as usual. All the best to everyone who's involved. I am not going to ask You again when catastrophe discontinues. Because You are challenging my limits, my faith, my patience and the size of my cross.

Special blessings continuously to the one I care much, I still care much. Even though I kinda know that this is it, not going to change anymore. Should take care of the issue once I think I am confident enough to handle this again without tears. Thanks Lord for taking good care of him and be with him always.

Shitty April

That was a FB status stated by Mav. Then I guess my emotions got a bit more stable and started to look at the bright side.

In this difficult period, I have friends to listen to my BS from work and stuff. They hanged out with me and kept me accompanied. They listened to me patiently until I got sick of myself complaining nonstop. They offered me pets & hugs to ensure that everything's gonna be okay, at least psychologically.

I have my parents to go on vacation so that I could experience quiet moments in the shelter.

I have papa at work who takes good care of me physically & mentally. When I need help in dealing with patients, he offers me help. When I start to lose confidence, he offers me encouragement. When I am a bit upset with situations, he offers me jokes for my laughter. When I feel stressful at times, he offers me afternoon tea =)

I have mama & big bro at work who allow me to whine.

Also, guess I am entering the phase of acceptance. "It's gonna be okay...."