I always blame the coffee, even though it's the love of my life.
Volleyball is one of the most enjoyable time during the busy week. However, like the other issues in life, it became a heavy burden on my pre-existing negative energy. I cried on court. The coach wasn't there, so players tried to come up with some "organized" drills. To be honest, those were quite organized but not effective at all. I tried to give advice but obviously it wasn't accepted. Teammates suffered and I observed their face to become more pale in the middle of the drill. It was my turn. I honestly thought I went through the sports induced asthmatic attack.
The sense of failure, incompentancy, insufficient came altogether at the same moment. I can't take it anymore so I went out and cried out loud.
Work is supposed to be fun, but it isn't fun anymore.
Volleyball is supposed to be fun, but it isn't fun anymore.
Life is supposed to be fun, but there is nothing enjoyable at all.
Whenever I think of the fact that I am stuck with this life forever and ever, I can't help myself from bursting into tears. This fragile girl here is waiting for someone to rescue from the current life right now. She needs help to find the reachable goals and foreseeable directions.
Where is this rescue? She hasn't been waiting long enough. Where is ....?
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