In my mind

At NYC, I made a promise to myself, that after the chocolate cheesecake and the tiramisu, I was going to let go of what happened in NJ, to forget and forgive about the phonecalls. After 2 weeks of time, the status is "in good progress". However, the thing is, I just don't get it. It's like meeting another person, a complete stranger, despite the fact that we were on the phone almost every week before that. I freaking don't get it. Anyway, I am not going to look into it since there is not a point of doing. It doesn't worth the hassle. One needs to look forward and move on. And that would be me.

The other night, I had a chance to talk to Cici, my ex-vball teammate. It was probably because of the environment and one dose of alcohol, I expressed something that I don't usually say it out loud. But by expressing it, I realized the picky side of me. In the aspect of looking for the other half, there were check boxes, the so-called criteria. It includes age, height, religion, communication, personality, and most importantly my impression of the person.

Six check boxes.... that's a lot.

Then there is a person I knew who has shown interest but I completely ignored because the latter 3 boxes were left blank. Am I not picky?

After a few days, that person from far far away, told me that he hasn't changed a bit after all these years. He reminded me that it has been 8 years since the last time we met. Not that I am very interested, it sounds pretty delightful. However, isn't it a bit diffcult for people to believe that this can actually happen? That's why I am under an impression that he's coming back for a revenge.

Because of what happened at the States, all of a sudden I don't have direction. Before that I was so determined to move to Canada upon graduation. I planned for my future, my career, my destination. Right now, feels like I am at a crossroad again.