Mucho Gracias a GiGi y Vincy. They both gave me so much encouragement to speak up, to express my thoughts to the confused friend. Therefore, I picked up my cellphone, gave him a call and requested to talk. This act has to be done anyways because I felt a bit rude for not squeezing out a single word the night he said those things, like 6 years ago.
Honestly, I truly understand his concerns and worries. When one moves to another country, when one has his living environment totally flipped, and when one has to make life decisions for the very first time in his early thirties, I can completely feel the frustration in between. It made me think of the change of environment when I first moved to Canada, when I first got isolated from the Chinese gangs, when I first entered the university, when I first started working, and when I first moved back to HK. Every time, I guess I was lucky enough to have friends around me, who had never given up on me.
First, the friends from ESL class who helped me a lot on getting use to the routines in Canada; the Indian girl who tagged along with me in Highschool; the University friends in class & volleyball who kept me accompanied in the huge UofT; Alen, Ross & Lisa taught me a lot at the Integrated Pain clinic; In HK I had Steph Isaac vball friends and my lovely Jongmates to go through difficult times with me.
Honestly, I truly understand his concerns and worries. When one moves to another country, when one has his living environment totally flipped, and when one has to make life decisions for the very first time in his early thirties, I can completely feel the frustration in between. It made me think of the change of environment when I first moved to Canada, when I first got isolated from the Chinese gangs, when I first entered the university, when I first started working, and when I first moved back to HK. Every time, I guess I was lucky enough to have friends around me, who had never given up on me.
First, the friends from ESL class who helped me a lot on getting use to the routines in Canada; the Indian girl who tagged along with me in Highschool; the University friends in class & volleyball who kept me accompanied in the huge UofT; Alen, Ross & Lisa taught me a lot at the Integrated Pain clinic; In HK I had Steph Isaac vball friends and my lovely Jongmates to go through difficult times with me.
Back to the his story, he is going through a difficult time right now. New environment, new business, new things to learn. Sometimes he loses confidence in himself on his own ability to handle these things. I am sure he is tough enough to do so. But we are all human. At some point, we get tired. We will be emotionally burdened, and stop trusting ourselves.
In his case, there probably becomes a bit more complicated because it also takes time and experience for him to learn about himself. When we face distress, sometimes we are surprised with the way we react. This is a learning process which everyone has to go through. And you may not see the end of it because in different stage of your life, people react differently. This little boy sees this as a huge aspect of life but perhaps hasn't understood that it could change.
I agree that he needs some time to be alone to put bits and pieces together, to better understand himself in return. However, this process is not gonna be the same if he does that alone. Because when he came out of his little casa and interact with people, the result may be entirely different. Then he will enter the loop again. With the care I have for him, I wouldn't want to leave him alone to face all the questions himself. It's as hurtful to him as to me to see him in distress. This time, it's me who wants him to rest in my embrace, petting on his head, whispering in this ears, "Everything will be okay."
Happiness you share to maximize the joy;
Sorrows you share to lighten your burden.
¿Te entiende, chico?
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