New Volleyball Shoes

Got a new pair of volleyball shoes today, as another birthday gift for myself. The first gift was the Jimmy's wallet last week. Thanks to JD who accompanied me to the vshop. Without him, I'd never make my way up there.


But actually, the topic today has nothing to do with vball shoes. My day was perfecto until my Adios with JD and met up with my Jongmates, whom I could talk about everything in life related to my faith. One asked me about my most concerned items in life at present. Without hesitation, I said, "I am worried that I am gonna be stuck with my parents for the rest of my life." They all made the same conclusion for me, you should find a partner as a companion in life.


Like I have never known this is one of the best solutions of all. Who knows when God's gonna send me my life partner? Or never? I sobbed quietly everytime. Probably because I still feel a bit lonely from the bottom of my heart, but no one has to notice about it. Like, who wants to travel alone when there is accompany? Who likes to pay a self visit to emergency room when there is someone who cares enough? Don't say it like it's my choice because I am capable. Capability does not equal to a desire.


Then I thought of my last break up. Have I been acting a bit too understanding? I accepted whatever Efung said and not to cause him anymore trouble after that. Never hung up on him, never yelled selfish at him, never cried in front of him, but suffering by myself indeed. At that time, I thought he had enough stress to deal with and hopefully our thing would not add on extra burden for him. But nowadays, I have heard stories like completely opposite of my way of dealing with similar situation, makes me wonder. So I was allowed to call him and hang up on him? I was allowed to yell selfish at him? I was allowed to cry in front of him?

These days JD comes around. Even though we chat a lot, it is still clueless on what is going to happen next. On that trouble day of work (yesterday), I really wish myself could rest a little in his embrace and let him pet on my head, whispering to me that 'everything will be okay'. But then the "keep a bit DISTANT" is on progress I think. May be Evan was right. If a guy really wants to go out with me, nothing can stop him from spending time with. If not, there will only be endless excuses.

Baby Chiara, save yourself from drowning before too much disappointment.